Erasing It From Memory
by morganaDW
Summary: Sam learns of what happened between him & Dean while he was soulless & tries to both take it away & make up for it in the only way he thinks will work. (Dean & Sam) Wincest. Has flashback scene with Robo-Sam. Ends in Wincest. See Warning & Note for trigger warning.


**Erasing It From Memory**

**Summary: **_Sam learns of what happened between him & Dean while he was soulless & tries to both take it away & make up for it in the only way he thinks will work. (Dean & Sam) Wincest. Has flashback scene with Robo-Sam. Ends in Wincest. See Warning & Note._

**Warnings: **_This one warns for language as well as the usual Wincest explicit warning since there is Wincest by the end but I'm also throwing in a slightly more dark and graphic warning for non-con stuff during the flashback which will involve the risk of triggering so be aware of this.._

**Pairings:**_ Dean and Sam_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. I just own the imagination that comes up with this stuff._

**Author Note: **_This is set after my other piece, Play To Save, as Sam learns what did happen while he was soulless. It's a darker than normal piece since in this one I do not show Robo-Sam as anything else but soulless and not interested in anything else but what he wants. I left out a few pieces mentioned only in Dean's own thoughts._

**~SPN SPN SPN SPN~**

"I'm grabbing dinner. Anything in particular or is it my choice?" Dean Winchester stepped out of the bathroom to grab his denim jacket while tossing a look over to his clearly unhappy younger brother. "Flip me off again and I am for sure buying you something that you hate just for the hell of it," he warned before softening a little at the lost look in Sam's hazel eyes.

It had been a month since the Winchesters left South Dakota after Dean's brush with a fuck or die curse with a side twist that had nearly done him in. It had only been a little over that since Sam's soul had been restored and they were finding out just what kind of an asshole Robo-Sam had been in the time before he and Dean were reunited.

The wall in Sam's mind kept him from knowing the worst of what had gone on but he was slowly getting to hate that side of him even though he'd had no control, especially on moments when he understood that something had happened between his soulless self and his brother.

Dean had been refusing to talk about it and though he'd promised to tell Sam once they were on the road there was always something happening to prevent that talk from occurring but it was very plain that it was something Sam needed to know because he was getting more worried each time during the night that he'd wake up to hearing his brother talking in his sleep…well, often it was more like begging in his sleep.

Sam had hoped at the end of this latest hunt that they could finally sit down to talk, even if it was only to have Dean tell him about how he'd gotten the no longer visible bruises but it hadn't worked out like that because they'd run against something from Robo-Sam's time with the Campbells and now Sam was stuck for another few hours unable to speak.

"Okay, so it's now an unofficial rule that neither of us are allowed near witches or cursed objects," Dean tried to coax a smile from his brother but finally sat down on the edge of Sam's bed to ran a hand back through his hair in order to see his downcast eyes. "Hey, it's okay. We burned the object and the guy's wife promises that whatever he cursed it with will wear off by midnight. You want to just order something?"

Understanding that Sam was still adjusting to having his soul back and to things slowly getting back to normal between them, Dean knew his brother was worried about the curse not breaking and leaving him mute. "I can stay if you're…" he paused to read what Sam wrote in big letters on the yellow note pad he had given him earlier.

'_Go, but don't bring back fast food_.'

"Ugh," Dean groaned at that since he knew that meant his brother wanted food from an actual restaurant that required a lot more time to order, wait and pick up then just driving through a fast food joint but the drawback to Sam being sick is he got his way a lot more than usual. "Fine, but then I'll be gone at least ninety minutes or longer since the closest decent place for what you want is a half an hour away from here. You good with me being gone that long?"

Sam considered that. He didn't like being alone while not being able to talk but he also wasn't in the mood for greasy burgers or fast food salads either so after a couple minutes he nodded, frowning a little at the thought of putting Dean out just for this and he began to write again.

"No, you're not making me go out of my way," Dean reassured him after seeing the first half of the new message to tear the paper off to pitch it away. "I didn't really want grease and stuff tonight either so I'll be back," he leaned over to lightly kiss the corner of Sam's mouth and finally felt the beginning of a smile form. "I'll be back as soon as I can and if you need anything or need me before I get back, just text me," he nodded to the phone laying on the bed while handing over the laptop. "Watch some porn or play a game."

Flipping his middle finger up again, Sam smirked at the laugh as Dean went out the door but didn't miss the way his brother flipped the lock on his way out.

The doors and windows were already salted with the correct sigils prepared and Sam's weapon was under his pillow so he knew it was just a matter of taking his mind off of being temporarily mute.

He wasn't tired since Dean had made him sleep since they got back to the motel and he didn't feel like doing research but Sam did boot his computer up since he figured it could kill the time by cleaning out the browser and things since he hadn't had a chance since having his soul put back in.

In fact this would be the first time that he'd have actually taken a good look to see just what his soulless self was doing on the laptop since it was the little odd things like mentioning Robo-him and the laptop that made his brother tense.

A quick scan at the browser history didn't show anything too out of the ordinary and the few porn sites he did find he instantly knew that had been Dean's fault.

It took a little under ten minutes before Sam began to catch little things that made him wary because he couldn't understand what in the hell kind of hunt would have needed him to look up drugs and their effects on a human being.

He slowly dismissed it to move into the file section which also didn't show him anything too odd until he clicked on one file marked 'Kink' to see it was a list of things like different size lengths of heavy rope, blindfold, gag, cuffs, whips, cockring and/or cage, whiskey and…

Sam scrubbed his eyes as he read the list for the third time to notice that each item had been checked off, including the last one…Dean and he suddenly began to get very uneasy.

Tearing through the files for more, he was a little relieved not to have found anything until he was nearly at the bottom when he caught that his file for videos was active and since he and Dean never kept video stored on the laptop, not since Dean crashed it one time, he clicked the file without thinking and immediately went cold, hot, sick before nearly throwing the computer in his haste to get away from it.

He wanted to shout or scream or at the very least be able to hear himself call his soulless bastard of a self every name he'd ever heard his Dad, Dean or Bobby use in his life but as it was all Sam could do was sit between the beds with his back against the one that was his brother's and stare at the computer.

Little clues that had been dropped along with how, right after his soul was restored, Dean kept him at a distance or flinched at even the most casual of touches had warned Sam that something had happened to actually freak his normally calm and under control brother out but…he'd had no idea just what badly screwed up this really was.

He still didn't and wouldn't unless he actually hit play on the damn file. Suspecting that Robo-him had hurt Dean in some way was one thing in Sam's mind but to now know he'd planned it, had made an actual goddamn list of things that he would need to restrain his brother before he…no, he couldn't let himself think that even soulless, even not caring that he would've…

Sam debated texting Dean right then and demanding he come back but something told him that wouldn't be a good idea or not until he at least had some idea of what was on the video.

Debating on seeing or letting it go, Sam knew he'd never be able to fully make it right until he learned just what his brother was hiding from him and with a shaky finger he leaned forward to hit the Play button…

**Flashback to Video, over a month earlier:**

"Dean? Dean, wake up. Dean…time to wake up. You don't want to miss anymore of this than you have already."

The toneless voice of this then soulless and very much a bigger than normal pain in his ass younger brother was not what Dean wanted to hear waking him up at…he had no clue what time it was or even what week it was considering the pounding in his head right then.

He debated on just ignoring the asshole but the first not so slight slap to the face made his choice for him as he came out of the sluggish sleep with a snarl on his lips that suddenly turned to a surprised grunt when he went to bat the hand out of his face only to discover his arms weren't moving.

In fact as Dean's green eyes finally shoved themselves open to see what the hell was wrong he quickly determined that it wasn't just his arms that weren't moving when he was finally able to clear his eyes enough to see that he was tied and tied very well and very painfully if he wasn't careful.

It took less than five seconds now that his blurry brain was processing to realize that somehow his legs had been pushed up until his knees were up close to his chest with his feet flat on the bed while both arms had been pulled down to tie his wrists to his ankles with heavy rope.

Dean also realized ropes had been tied around his chest to loop under his arms to then go back to hook to an array of ropes on the headboard that would allow movement if it was needed. That was also when it hit him that he was completely naked.

Somehow Sam, the soulless son of a bitch, had managed to strip him, move him to the center of the bed and tie him up like he was naked and on display all without waking him up and that was what Dean was not processing at the moment considering he did not sleep sound enough for this to have happened.

He hadn't slept soundly since the first night after learning his brother's soul had been left in the Cage with Lucifer and Michael so Dean couldn't figure this scenario out but he was getting pissed off.

"What the hell, Sam?" he demanded, trying to struggle in the ropes to see if he could free one of his hands but hissed in pain when all that did was tighten the damn things more. "Cut me loose, now!"

Sam was sitting on the other bed calmly just watching the brief struggle go on and his face never changed as he watched the expression on Dean's face go from confused to furious in less than a second before he smiled a little. "Why would I want to cut you loose, Dean?" he asked calmly, moving a hand to just wave it. "It took me a few hours to get you tied just this way but I figured before I did the rest I'd wake you up so you could watch or…participate."

"Come again?" Dean blinked, angrier at the tone than anything else right then as he went to jerk his upper body to see if the ropes holding his shoulders would give only to realize that for him to move it would literally jerk his shoulders out of place with the way his arms had been tied to his ankles. "What's the joke?" he demanded, now a little more worried since this version of Sam did not have the morals or judgment that his little brother did. "How they hell'd you pull this crap off anyway?"

Standing to step closer to Dean, Sam stood there perfectly calm with a flicker of something in his eyes that Dean had never seen before or at least not on anything human and his concern notched up a level. "I'm not a demon or a shapeshifter if that's what you're hoping," he remarked as if seeing what his brother was thinking while reaching down to toss a denim bag on the bottom of the bed. "As for how I got you naked and tied without you waking up, that was easy. I drugged you."

"Drug…you goddamn drugged me?" Dean was even more pissed now as he began struggling in the ropes binding him only to grunt when a large hard hand pressed against his chest to put an even bigger strain on his burning muscles. "Sam…let me go. Whatever this is…we can talk about it or whatever you want but just cut me loose."

He'd hoped being rational with his brother would work but it quickly became plain to the older brother that this version of Sam, this one with no sense of right or wrong or caring, was not in the mood to be rational or let him free from the bonds.

"Uh, no. What we're going to do is something that needs you tied up for the beginning," Sam cocked his head to just look at his tied, spread open and naked brother to run the tip of his tongue over his lips. "Y'see, the me that you want back so much would never have the balls to tell you how damn hot this is to see you tied and spread open for him."

Dean's eyes flashed up to see the not so hidden dark desire shining in hazel eyes that used to be so soft and readable but it didn't take a genius to see where this was heading and he began to fully strain against the ropes before finally slumping back limply. "You can get it out of your head now," he growled, trying to batter down the building stage of little fingers of panic in his chest as he watched Sam. "We are not having sex so you can cut me loose and go get your fun somewhere mmmh!"

The hard brutal mouth crashing over his as fingers gripped his short hair mercilessly to yank his head back cut the argument off as Sam worked his tongue past the lips Dean tried to keep closed but strong fingers on his jaw forced him to submit and couldn't bury the groan when his brother's tongue plunged in deep to explore.

"You are so hot, big brother," Sam brushed his lips over Dean's jaw while sitting on the edge of the bed to dig into the bag he had with him. "I've tried sex with whores and hookers but something was missing," he looked up into Dean's eyes to smile but this Sam's smile was cold and crueler than normal. "It wasn't until we hooked back up and I saw you come out of the shower one morning that I figured it out.

"I have all my memories, Dean. So I know what we've done since I was probably sixteen or so. You fighting me on this isn't going to work just because I'm not the submissive little brother you're used to. We've played rough before," he pulled some things out just to see the way his brother's eyes widened then narrowed.

"This isn't rough, Sam. This is something out of a damn BDSM porn flick and I said we're not having sex," Dean winced as the ropes bit into his wrists and ankles as he tried to twist to get some slack but felt them getting still. "Damn it, Sam! Jokes over. Untie me."

Playing several different things on the bed within reach, Sam's eyes lifted. "This isn't a joke, Dean and we are, well I'm having sex…what you end up getting depends on how nice or cooperative you are during this," he ran a hand up the now heaving chest. "Sure, you're not used to being on bottom or being the sub but if you're nice, I'll make it so you can at least come but first I have to finish setting up."

"Setting up? Dean scoffed, no longer calm and feeling the panic building because no matter what he and Sam used to do, and they had played kinky a couple times, they always stopped at a certain point. "You've already got me spread out and tied like some obscene table setting so what the hell else…Sam…Sammy, stop."

Now Dean could see some of the other things that were being laid out and he felt his spit dry up at the thought of what was actually happening.

He'd known for weeks how far over the edge his brother was becoming. How Sam's morality meter had shorted circuited since being without his soul and he'd suspected how dark those emotions ran if he wasn't always keeping him in check but he hadn't thought Sam would go this route or maybe he had.

Dean hadn't slept fully since learning the truth and maybe that had been because he didn't trust his brother, while being like this, not to go full dark ass bondage torture master but thinking it and seeing it, feeling it, were different things and he needed to stop this.

"Sam, wait," he tried to lick his lips to get the ability to form words back as he seen an array of chains, clamps, rings and other things he didn't want to imagine. "Look, you want sex…fine. Let me up, untie me and we can do what you want. We can…"

"I am doing what I want, Dean," Sam didn't look up as he ran something through his hands. Then he did lift his head to smile. "I want you tied naked and open for me so I can fuck your ass into the mattress. I'm going to fuck you raw in so many ways and if you're good for me I'll let you come…after a while," he leaned closer to take a nipple, thrust out more by the way Dean was tied, between his fingers to pull it hard.

"You can scream, Dean. I know you'll fight it but I want to hear you scream," he twisted the nipple again and this time with enough force that Dean couldn't bite back the cry of pain. "We're all alone in the motel now so you can make all the noise I want and no one will call the cops."

That made Dean frown and his thoughts must have shown on his face because Sam chuckled while leaning closer to now lick around the abused nipple. "No, I didn't kill anyone. I just told the staff and owner that we were Feds and this whole building was being used for something dangerous so they took off for a few days," he bit down with a groan at the way the body under his touch arched in pain since he wasn't ready to give pleasure yet. "Days, big brother. I plan to use you for a while so you may as well get with the program."

"Bullshit," Dean hissed tightly, wanting to pull away, to find a way to free himself but the ropes had been tied to well and if he fought them he'd end up hurting himself but that didn't mean he'd submit like this asshole wanted. "If you think I'm going to just let you fuck me like some toy you're more out there than I thought!"

"Let or not, it's happening and how much you enjoy it will be up to you," Sam shrugged, reaching for a set of clamps with a thin chain attached. "You fight me and I'll make it hurt more than it has to, Dean. I don't have to use lube when I shove my cock in that hot tight ass or…anything else I plan to stick up there or…I could stick a sound in your cock so you can't even get hard or…"

"Jesus, Sam," Dean breathed, not sure what disgusted him more…the cruelty his brother was showing or the fact that he could feel himself growing hard just by the low voice describing the ways Sam clearly wanted to hurt him. "Where's this coming from?"

Sam didn't seem to think anything was wrong with what he was doing as he squeezed and pinched the nipple he'd been abusing until it was hard and then he clamped the nipple clamp over it firmly, smiling a bit more at the gasp of pain he got. "Like that, Dean? It just gets better from here."

"No," Dean knew he might not be able to stop Sam but he'd be damned if he'd make it easy on the asshole but as he tried to jerk a little so his soulless brother couldn't hook the other clamp on he did scream at the sharp burning shock that hit his side and left him gasping for breath.

"The taser's set on low right now since I don't really want to hurt you, Dean," Sam went back to attaching the final nipple clamp while waiting for his brother to stop gasping from the shock. "I want you to enjoy this or at least just give in so I can enjoy it. I don't want to rape you, Dean but I'm also not stopping until I get from you what I want."

"What happened to you?" Dean asked raggedly, wanting to close his eyes but unable to as he watched the next item Sam picked up. "Is this what you do with those hookers?"

Sam found that amusing as he debated on the next thing to put on Dean, shaking his head. "No, with them it's pure sex for sex's sake. With you…my normal self, the one you want back and the one that you'd never dream of saying no to, would never have the guts to do this stuff with you," he held up the ball gag, not surprised when Dean's mouth clamped shut.

"I know I said I want to hear you scream but I also want to hear you scream with this muffling it…plus for the first little bit you'll mainly be screaming for me to stop and I don't want to hear that so this goes in for now," he sighed a bit before moving closer so he could place his thumbs on the hinge of Dean's closed jaw and pressed hard enough to pry it open enough to shove the hard ball gag between his brother's lips to hook the straps around his face and buckle it.

Dean jerked his head away but now could only use his eyes to try to communicate since the gag muffled his words. The low panic he'd felt was now notching up because being tied like he was he could almost deal with but the gag was quite another thing since he and Sam had used cuffs before but they'd never actually gone to the point of using gags of any kind.

This side of his normally quiet and almost reserved little brother was pulling out all the stops and it was plain now to Dean that regardless of what he wanted or didn't want that Sam was going to have sex with him and if he fought too much it would turn to rape because Dean did not think soulless Sam understood the word 'no'.

It wasn't easy and it made his already churning stomach sick but Dean slowly found the ability to will his tense body to be more at ease even though he knew that he was not coming out of this night without pain and bruises he just wanted to make certain that when he got Sam's soul back, and he now was determined to get it back at all cost, that his Sammy would not suffer from the thoughts or knowledge that he'd raped him during sex.

"See I knew you'd understand," Sam felt the change as he'd placed a hand over Dean's stomach to rub over the quivering muscles. "I can also make you want this."

Dean rolled his eyes at that since he knew that while he might have accepted this night he refused to allow himself to even consider enjoying it.

Of course what Dean's head said and what his body said the moment Sam's hand slid down to begin stroking his cock from base to tip were two different matters.

He didn't want this. He'd accepting letting Sam do what the hell he wanted to him but that didn't mean he would go along with it or get off on the sick games but within a few strokes he felt himself getting hard and groaned at the low sound Sam made at the first drop of precome that leaked from the tip.

"Gonna get you good and hard for this, big brother," Sam tightened the grip to begin moving his hand faster while he used his other hand to move up to begin to cup and rub his brother's balls, smirking when Dean shook his head rapidly. "No, I want you hard as much as your body wants to be hard. It's going to be fun to get you hard and then leave you aching for release."

Dean felt the ache between his legs growing and knew by Sam's low sounds that he was hard and dripping already though he could also see by the growing bulge and damp spot on Sam's jeans that his brother was pretty hard to and hoped this wouldn't take too long once Sam was done playing.

Then he heard something that made him look down and the urge to fight came back as he tried to close his legs but the way they were tied prevented that and his moan was loud as Sam's huge hands closed over his thighs to push them apart more while then using his own legs to keep them that way as he began to work the first section of the cockcage over his balls to trap them first.

"MmmmM!" Dean had expected a cockring or something but the cage seemed extreme and in this Sam's hands it actually scared him.

"Stop moving!" Sam snapped, voice hard and cold as he snapped the double ring around his brother's balls before reaching for three smaller rings to place them over Dean's cock in equal lengths before finally sliding the heavy steel cage over its hard and dripping length to snap it in place while taking his time to hook the small padlock on with a loud click "There. Nice and hard but trapped. You're not going to come until I let this pretty cock free but it still needs one more piece."

The strain of the tight rings trapping his cock in its hard and wanting state along with the cage had Dean trembling but something in his brother's tone warned him the worst was yet to come as he couldn't see what Sam was holding as he lifted his trapped cock in his hand.

Dean couldn't see it but sure as hell felt it as he screamed through the gag at the unexpected spear of agony that went through the slit in the tip of his cock as Sam inserted the small steel cockplug up through the end of the cage.

"You like feeling that, Dean?" Sam's thumb pressed against it just to watch the way Dean's body jerked in the ropes and his hips tried to thrust if only to escape the torment. "Since I want you hard and aching I couldn't put in a sound but this keeps you from dripping and it also means for you to come or even to piss that I'll have to remove it so you better work this right and give me what I want."

Sam stretched up to lick the few tears that had leaked from the corner of Dean's eyes at both the pain he was in now and from the humiliation that was to come. "Shhh, it's really easy, baby," he murmured, giving the chain between the nipple clamps a slight tug to hear the moan from under the gag. "You get to be the bitch laying under me and taking whatever I give you.

"In fact, what we may do one time once you get used to who's in charge when we're not hunting is I'll keep you tied up like this, put you in the backseat of the Impala or the trunk wearing only the collar and the cuffs so I can just move you from room to room," the soulless version of Sam Winchester seemed to like this idea as he laughed at the look at heated horror shot at him. "I'd do that now but I really want to get this over with probably as much as you do right now…though for different reasons."

Understanding that Sam was serious in this fantasy, Dean made a vow that he was never sleeping again until his got his little brother back. He relaxed a bit as Sam slid off the bed to unzip his already open jeans to skin them off and reveal that of course the asshole had gone commando for this night attack.

"So much easier to go without the briefs in case I meet up with someone I want to fuck," Sam must have seen the look and understood it, kicking his jeans away as he knelt back on the bed to begin to move Dean's body to he could turn it. "Time to really play, big brother."

"Mmmhg?" Dean hated the gag because it left him helpless in a way he'd never liked but he couldn't stop the burst of confused panic as he was rolled quickly and effortlessly over so that his chest was flat on the bed but his ass was in the air since his tied legs kept him on his knees but also pulled his shoulders down.

Sam slid a pillow under Dean's head while turning it to the side so his face was pressed into the pillow for the risk of suffocating while he also did shove a few under him to offer a bit more support before moving down to attach new ropes to his brother's ankles so he could run those down to the foot of the bed. "Don't want you moving for what I have in mind."

Trying to catch Sam's lust blown eyes to try to urge him to at least take the gag out, Dean suddenly wondered if it would be better to have it in as too many bad things were coursing through his head right then.

Dean's body was so on edge that even the gentlest of touches made him jerk and whimper, something that Sam clearly enjoyed as he pressed his hard and very dripping cock against the crease of Dean's ass when he laid himself over his brother's straining back to lick, kiss and bite his way down Dean's body.

"You are so hot like this, Dean" he began in a voice that was deep and rough, running his teeth over Dean's shoulder before using his teeth to bite and begin to draw the blood to the surface while moving his hand around to play with his brother's trapped cock. "Tied up like I've got you, your cock trapped and hooked in a cage with a plug in it and that ballgag stretching that mouth you like to use so much. God, I could take you right now but…I have plans for this tight ass before I shove my cock in it."

Trying to turn his head to he could stare at Sam, Dean gasped as a hard hand slapped his ass before he felt something leather being secured around his throat. "You keep your head down until I want it up, bitch!" Sam smirked, enjoying this power over his older brother as he hooked another rope from the headboard to the collar. "Now, time to see just how much you can take,"

Unable to make a sound that wasn't a moan or muffled, Dean forced himself to stay quiet regardless of what he wanted to say to Sam right then.

That was until the first rough shove of a finger went in his ass without any warning or prep and he keened loudly, unable to move away from the finger or Sam as his younger brother used all the new muscle to hold him still while he pulled it out to go back in to hit the ring of muscle.

"Shit. Your ass is tight and hot," Sam licked his lips as he used both hands to pull the clenching ass cheeks apart while watching the small puckered tight hole. "You better relax it or this could be bad for you."

Relaxing wasn't in Dean's vocabulary even though he knew he needed to, gasping a little when he felt the cool touch of lube squeezing into his hole before the finger reinserted.

"Better?" Sam didn't want to hurt his brother regardless of how much of a turn on that was for him right then and maybe it was some leftover piece of his old self that really did feel a stirring of something at the sight of tears on Dean's face over the pain of his dry insertion. "Relax, Dean. I can't take the gag out until I try this one thing first but as soon as I do it I'll take it out and I will take the plug out."

The sudden noise from his brother made Sam frown and also made him wonder if he pushed too far. "Hold on," he urged, letting his long fingers slip between Dean's legs to find the cockcage and after a moment of hesitance he pulled the plug out and immediately felt the change in Dean when he seemed to go limp. "Now, let's see if you can relax your ass a bit."

The relief of having the plug taken out left Dean weak, too weak to even clench around as the now lubed finger slid back up and past the ring of muscle with only mild resistance. He still wanted to resist, to not let Sam do this but knew he was powerless against the strength Sam seemed to have gained plus he was tied too much to fight it.

"Good boy," Sam smiled tightly as his one finger moved smoothly before he added the second to feel only slight resistance. "Just pretend it's the me you want. Your sweet little brother who probably would never bring himself to do this cause he liked being on the bottom but I…don't," he forced a third finger in before the second had properly stretched the now red hole and heard the moan of pain that made his cock twitch between his legs.

"I've watched you pretend to sleep for a month now and I've dreamed of finally being able to shove my cock into you…after you've taken my fist, that is," he licked a long hot wet stripe up from the crease of Dean's ass to his neck while hearing the gasp and whimper before muffled words seemed to try to come out. "What? You want to take my fist in this hot ass?" he knew that wasn't what was being said but since he couldn't hear the words took what he wanted them to mean.

"Sure, big brother. I'll stretch this hole so much that my whole hand will fit up inside you so I can fuck you first with my fist and then you're going to beg for my cock," turning the three fingers a half turn, Sam pressed his hand down over the small of Dean's back when he tried to move in the ropes holding him. "Hold still, Dean or I'll make this hurt worse than it is."

There was more pain than pleasure since Sam wasn't even trying to find Dean's prostate as he worked to stretch his hole now with four fingers and the harder Dean tried to speak through the gag the more turned on Sam became until he was thrusting the fingers up and back, twisting them until he could curve them slightly while applying more pressure on Dean's back to keep him still.

Dean had only had this done to him once when he was younger and that experience hadn't been a good one either but this one, knowing that his brother was only doing to for his own reasons and not caring about the pain or damage it could cause him made it worse.

Tied and gagged, Dean tried to will the pain away even as he felt the thumb being coated in lube before Sam tucked it up and the muffled scream that came when his brother folded the fist totally in his ass and began to move it bit by bit was worse to Dean than any of the screams he'd heard from himself in Hell and he realized the white spots in front of his eyes weren't good a second before he fell into blackness.

**Present time:**

"No…no…no."

Sam wasn't sure when his voice returned or how long the full video lasted as he kept watching after Dean had passed out to see his soulless self fist his brother viciously before then going ahead to fuck him with his cock, not caring or maybe not even noticing that Dean had passed out.

He watched the rest of the video with his fist to his mouth to keep from screaming, feeling the stream of tears on his own face as he watched Dean slowly come around to the gag being removed just so Robo-him could stick his hard again cock in Dean's mouth to make him suck him off before tormenting his brother longer and not touching the damn cage.

The video had stopped before Sam had seen what he so desperately needed to. He needed to know how long his brother was kept tied like that and how long before he was allowed to come…if at all.

Flashes of Dean's face came to him, the muted sounds of pain and shame all washed over Sam as he realized that he'd watched his own body, soulless or not, physically and sexually torture his older brother and Dean hadn't said a single damn word about it, not even now that they were slowly getting back to being able to make love.

Now as he pulled the file back up to let his finger hover over the delete key, Sam felt his stomach twisting as it made so much sense in the first few weeks after getting his soul back why Dean kept away from him and didn't sleep much and why when Sam was trying to break the curse his brother had been hit with last month that Dean jerked at the first touch of his finger near his ass.

"_Son of a bitch_!" Sam wanted to smash the computer, to throw it across the room but he didn't. He didn't because no matter what else he needed his brother to be the one to delete that file and to find some way to erase that night from Dean's memory.

For Dean Winchester there was usually nothing more than he hated in his life than flying, witches, or things that tried to hurt his little brother…until now.

He'd officially decided to add trying to order food from anything without a drive-thru window to his list of most hated things because this trip had kept him away from Sam for a hell of a lot longer than he'd planned.

"I'm back, finally and from now on if or when we eat at an actual restaurant again we go there and none of this…holy hell," his good natured complaints died off on a breath that literally had him staggering to a stop inside the door.

It took all of his fading thoughts to manage not to drop the bags of food on the floor as he gave the door a kick to close it when his eyes landed on the bed and then it felt like all the blood in his body was going straight to one place and it sure wasn't his head.

"Sammy," he had to lick his lips to try to get the spit that had just dried up back in order to form words that were logical and not the pure sex driven ones that were flooding into his mind right at the moment. "Umm, that mute curse didn't turn into anything…else while I was gone, did it?"

Dean tried to keep it light, fought damn hard to keep from dumping the food on the table, get his suddenly way too many layers of clothing off and claim what his little brother had just suddenly out of the blue presented him with but something held him back despite the growing and heated erection pressing against his clothes.

It hadn't been easy to do since anything they had in the way of toys or 'equipment' was kept in the Impala so Sam had to resort to using the real thing as best as he could when he decided on a plan to fix what his soulless uncaring self did to his brother.

They both kept certain things in their duffels in case of emergency and it had taken digging to the bottom of Dean's to find what he knew should be there to find the cuffs and some nylon rope.

Sam wasn't sure what his brother's reaction to this would be and could only hope walking in to find him naked on his bed with ropes tying his legs to the bed, one wrist in a cuff and a makeshift cockring on would distract him and as he laid there now trying to hook his other hand in the cuff, the younger man could see logical thought fading as Dean's eyes went wide, then narrowed before beginning to dilate as heat and desire built.

Swallowing hard at the way Dean's eyes were devouring him now, Sam tried to come up with a flip or light response to his brother's question since the concern was also showing on Dean but when he opened his mouth he suddenly wished they did have a gag or that he'd stuffed something in his own mouth.

"I'm sorry."

Tossing the jacket over a chair, Dean's flannel overshirt went somewhere as he approached the bed to sit on the edge while his gaze kept moving over Sam's toned and muscled body before reaching up to touch the still loose cuff.

It never failed to heat his blood to see Sam like this, or anyway actually, but they hadn't played kinky or rough since his brother's soul was restored.

Dean was the one who usually initiated this type of play and he hadn't felt himself ready to use the cuffs on Sam, not after what had happened…suddenly the whisper soft apology and the way Sam was biting his lower lip got through and his eyes went to the laptop that was laying half open on his bed.

"I…couldn't get the other hand cuffed and the ropes were the best I could do and well, we don't have…" Sam wished he'd stop talking and that Dean would do something other than run his fingers over the dangling cuff as he moved his free hand. "Can you…I mean…Dean?"

"What did you see, Sam?" he asked but feared he knew what his brother might have seen even though Dean had never brought himself to look on the laptop for proof that the bastard had somehow recorded that time months ago. "Sammy?"

"I'm sorry, De'n," Sam whispered again, dropping his chin and turning it when he felt gentle fingers cupping his jaw to lift it back and nearly broke at the look in his brother's eyes. "I…didn't know. I wouldn't have…this is all I can do and I know it's not even close but…"

Gentle soft lips brushing over Sam's stopped the halting words as Dean's thumb skimmed over his cheek at the feel of tears. "I know you wouldn't, Sam," he murmured, trying to settle the nerves that wanted to push him away because he knew his brother and accepted that if he stepped back now that Sam would never forgive himself. "I would have told you but…we're not doing this."

"No, this is fine," Sam tried to grasp for Dean as he went to unlock the other cuff but pulled back at the flash of heat in green eyes. "We've used…I'm okay with this, Dean."

"Yeah, we've played kink before and we probably will again but we're not doing it now after you've seen whatever the hell you did or because you think I want to tie you up to work out what he did because even in my worst moment I would never touch you like that," Dean rubbed the mild bruise on Sam's wrist before bringing it to his lips to run his mouth over it. "When'd the curse break?"

Sam blinked at the switch in subjects as he watched Dean's fingers shake a little as they went to undo the ropes on his ankles. "Probably half way through the video," he admitted quietly, still having a hard time meeting his brother's eyes but noticed the way Dean's hand pressed over his jeans to realize that he was still hard and went to Plan B. "I didn't delete it. I want you to do that."

"I didn't…I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth about recording it or not," Dean sounded strained as he let his eyes shift to the laptop and it was plain to Sam by the way the Dean's hands clenched before rubbing over his wrists that his brother still recalled the event. "He always said he had and teased that he'd sent it to people but…Sammy?"

"I looked and the file wasn't shared or copied," Sam had wanted to make sure of that and had felt such relief that his other side hadn't been that cruel or cold to have used that video against Dean like that. "Once you delete it it'll be gone for good and I'll clean the hard drive to be sure," he promised, sitting up but leaving the makeshift cockring on as he let their shoulders touch. "Can you…how long did he…God, why the hell didn't you leave?"

Dean turned to look at him, a small crooked smile relaxing his tight features a little. "Because you were my brother and I was more than determined after that to get your soul back," he replied, blowing out a breath while not being aware when his fingers began to clench.

The memories of that time were still in his mind. They could come back at any time, usually at night before he and Sam had started sleeping in the same bed again, but it was still hard to explain outloud even though Sam had already seen the worst or so he hoped.

"He kept me tied over that weekend and let me go Monday morning," he finally murmured, remembering the pain in his limbs even though Robo-Sam had conceded to just tying him straight to the bed and not folded up like he had been through the worst of that weekend. "He didn't sleep so I usually only slept if I passed out or he let me but I learned that he only let me sleep when he wanted to adjust the ropes or something.

"I'm not sure when he took the gag out but it was always there as if to tell me that the time without it could be brief but he liked to hear me so he mostly kept it out," Dean felt a slow touch of fingers slide under his t-shirt to move up his chest, shivering at the light touch to his nipples.

"I'm sorry he hurt you, Dean," Sam whispered, wanting to touch and sooth but leery now. "Did he ever let you…I mean, did…I know you didn't want what he did and…"

Turning now to meet Sam's wet eyes this is what Dean did not want Sam to think and needed to try to explain it to him while giving in to the sudden urge and pulling his t-shirt up and off so his brother could have access to the skin he seemed to want to touch.

"No, I didn't or not in the way he did it but…" he had to blink and realign his thoughts when Sam's lips closed over the rock hard little pebble nearest to him to begin to lightly roll it with his tongue. "…he let me come. On Sunday, he spent that day seeing how many times he could make me come and…he was…equally creative."

Seeing the question that filled Sam's eyes, Dean was glad when his brother didn't ask because he did not plan on telling Sam just what else happened on that Sunday or the ways his other side had worked Dean's body or the things he'd done to him.

"It was one weekend and it's over because he'd gone. I've got you back and…mmmh," the kiss was slow and deep as Sam's hand curved around Dean's head to bring him closer, food and curses forgotten as all the younger man wanted now was to see his brother's real smile.

"Love you," Sam whispered, his mouth still close enough so that he could feel his brother's breath ghosting over his face. "I'll never hurt you. Let me?"

The question was unspoken but Dean got the hint to what his brother wanted and nodded, his erection still there since just having Sam naked and close to him never failed to get a response from Dean's body. "Food's getting cold though," he knew food was an afterthought for both of them at the moment when he groaned at the feel of Sam's fingers working to get his jeans open.

"Room has a microwave," Sam returned clearly distracted in the need to get the jeans open and suddenly not happy with the button fly jeans. "Hungry for something else."

"Uh-huh," Dean's groin responded to the words as well as the deeper more sexed out tone Sam could get at certain times and this was one of the first times since getting his soul back had Dean heard it because usually his brother had been keeping himself restrained in fear of whatever had happened before. "Need help, Sammy?"

"Hate these things," Sam was close to tugging when Dean stood up to shed his own jeans and briefs in one smooth movement after tugging his boots off. "Bruises are gone," his fingers ghosted over where he now knew there'd been more bruises or marks to feel his brother shudder but not in memory. "What do you…"

Curving his fingers over the hard line of Sam's jaw, Dean leaned closer as he knelt on the bed to take one of Sam's hands in his to place it on his chest, over his heart. "This is your show, little brother," he murmured, offering a smirk. "Do what you want or tell me…"

Memories of that video and also of the day in Bobby's barn where Sam had to break the multiple curses afflicted on Dean came back and Sam knew what he couldn't do but also what he could. "Lay down a minute?" he knew normally before and still now that they both preferred it when Dean was on top and while Sam feared his brother may not like the suggestion out of concern he only felt a tiny hesitation before Dean laid on the bed to look up at him.

Every time Sam had the chance to see Dean like this it never failed to take his breath away because while he'd grown up knowing most people, men and woman, liked what they saw when they looked at Dean and he knew his brother's own opinion of his body, for Sam it was always like touching something to be worshiped when he got to touch his brother.

"You planning on doing something other than looking?" Dean asked with a laugh in his deepening voice because his cock was clearly hard and dripping precome just from watching as Sam knelt between the legs he'd spread as if to give him room.

"Yeah, just wondering why you let me close to you sometimes," Sam shook at the feel of rough fingertips stroking over his cock. "Not fair, Dean. You know I can't focus on what I'm doing if you touch me…ohhh," he moaned as the fingers stroked more before a fingers touched the slit in his leaking but caught cock.

"You focus and think too much, baby boy," Dean smiled, relaxing because no matter what else he knew this was his little brother and that Sam would not, not even in the heat of passion, hurt him like the other one had. "What happened wasn't your fault, Sammy. We've been over that and…"

Sam leaned down from where he was kneeling to begin to offer soft kisses along his brother's hairline and followed a path that included his jaw, his face, over his eyelids, the shell of his ear before traveling back to his mouth where the kiss deepened to become hotter, more intense.

A soft moan of pleasure was heard as Dean opened his lips to allow his brother's tongue in to explore while he moved a hand up to curve it over Sam's back to down over his ass where he flattened his palm to smooth only to feel his brother moan into his mouth when Dean's hand touched something hard that he knew should not be there.

A jolt of lust shot right to his cock and balls when another light touch had Sam's hips twitching against his groin and Dean's other hand took a hold of his brother's hair to give it a light pull, breaking the kiss just to look into his brother's flushed face.

"Sam…is that…is that the dildo you used on me back at Bobby's?" he asked tightly, the image that brought him had him getting harder.

"Using it to stretch myself," Sam gasped since if he had any personal kink aside from anything his brother did to him it would be the tingle of having Dean's fingers tight against his scalp like they were now. "It has different modes other than vibrate and I…put it on the one where it'll get…bigger and harder cause I wanted to be prepped for…you."

Getting this news did nothing to relieve the ache now in his fully leaking cock as it wanted to be up inside his brother's heat in the worst way but Dean had agreed to let his brother run this show so he forced himself to be still as Sam worked to bring his thoughts back around and off of the now vibrating and hard dildo stretching his hole.

"He should have used something like that on you before he…" Sam shook his head, wanting away from the image of his fist in Dean's ass. "I want you to do that to me sometime," he felt the sharp breath before he covered his brother's mouth again to halt the objection. "We talked about it once, before Detroit, and you know it was something I'd let you try. You can't say you don't want to, Dean."

No, he couldn't and yes, they had but Dean wasn't sure about it yet and decided to give that act more thought but now he wanted to feel Sam and just go with what was happening now as he met his brother's mouth and tongue heat for heat.

Sam's mouth was then moving down to give light biting kisses over Dean's neck as he arched it more so Sam could find the one spot he always seemed to that drove Dean crazy with want. "Want you so much, Dean," he spoke against skin hot with need, licking his way over rigged muscles to dip into the crease between Dean's hip and leg, feeling the heat coming off the leaking cock. "Wanna taste you, suck you until you come down my throat but…want something more right now."

Dirty talk did not come easy for Sam as Dean knew but when his little brother put his mind to it he could make him harder and hotter than anyone else ever had.

It had taken Sam a long time to get comfortable with sucking Dean's cock and now on the rare times when he got the chance he did so with a skill that brought Dean over the edge with little trouble but he started when he didn't feel his brother's lips closing over the head of his cock but the cool lube as Sam's hand slicked him up before the heat of his brother's body began sliding down.

"Whoa, what…" Dean's eyes shot open at the feel of Sam's hole taking him but the odd tightness had him gasping until he felt the softer vibrations of something rubbing against his already huge cock as it squeezed into Sam. "You left the…God, Sammy…" he groaned at the feel of his cock squeezing past Sam's stretched muscles to hit against the now only vibrating dildo that his brother chose not to remove. "Too much for…you can't…shit, you are still so hot."

It was a bit of a stretch to take Dean's fully engorged, blood red and leaking cock as he lowered himself down until he was flush with his brother's groin in addition to the shrunken back to normal size but still large dildo with the moving nubs but Sam knew the device would help to enhance the experience for them both.

The urge to thrust up was huge but Dean bit back on that to give Sam a chance to settle since he could see the way his muscles in his arms and stomach strained right now but groaned deep in his throat at the first shift of Sam's hips.

Once he had Dean's cock fully sheathed and pressed against the nubs of dildo, Sam began to angle to thrusts down so that both could hit his prostate and he leaned down to resume using his lips and tongue to lave wet kisses over his brother's chest before settling his teeth carefully over the hollow of his throat to begin sucking it with enough force that he could feel the cock inside him jerking.

"Mmmh…harder, baby boy," Dean groaned, reaching up to take a firm hold of Sam's hips to pull him down harder as he thrust his up to smile that one smile only Sam got to see as he watched the look that came over his brother's face and felt the warmth of the precome leaking from Sam's trapped cock where it lay between them.

"No…roll me over," Sam got out between clenched teeth as the dildo began vibrating more as it sensed it was time. "Want you…ridin' me. Want to feel you come inside me when you want…yeah, like this…" he moaned as he was flipped so his back was pressed to the mattress.

The change in positions wasn't hard for Dean to manage even with the change in his brother's weight; what was hard was not coming the instant he was on top as he felt Sam's muscles clench around his cock and the dildo vibrated faster against his cock.

"Fuck," he breathed, seeing Sam's eyes were blown in lust and knew his probably wasn't much better as he could feel himself getting closer to the brink. "Sammy, I'm not gonna last much longer," he warned, seeing the tight nod but a look at Sam's cock, all red and weepy, told Dean that his brother wouldn't either. "You wanna come, little brother?"

Dean's voice, especially the harder, pure honey coated sex one, could make Sam come without hardly touching him and while Sam hadn't wanted to, he'd wanted to help his brother, he whimpered as his makeshift cockring was taken off and the first feel of a firm but gentle hand began to stroke him from base to tip had him biting his lip.

"Sammy?" Dean gave his wrist an expert twist since he knew only too well how susceptible his brother was to his touch and thought he knew why Sam was holding back. "Want you to come, Sam," he spoke low while rolling his hips to press his cock and the dildo, whose little nubs were pure torturous bliss on Dean's already strung out cock, against his brother's prostate to feel Sam's body suddenly jerk and clenched around him tightly. "There's my boy."

Sam's orgasm ripped through him with a moan as white stripes of come spilled over Dean's hand to coat his chest and as his brother's hand coaxed his cock for all it was worth as Sam's moans and whimpers got louder, he felt Dean's body shudder before his own climax hit him.

Rocking his hips up to help urge Dean through the orgasm, Sam felt the heat of his brother's come filling him and watched the way Dean's green eyes glittered as they slowly locked on Sam's and slowly the rocking became less fast and more slow until his older brother leaned forward to offer a kiss.

"Thank you," he whispered into Sam's mouth before gently easing over until they were both on their sides and Dean's fingers slid over to grasp the dildo to pull it out slowly, taking Sam's soft sigh to mix it with his own and then finally just laid still to hold his younger brother against his chest, sticky with Sam's own come.

"I know why you did this tonight and I love you for it but from now on you let what you saw go," he carded his fingers through Sam's hair until he got his brother to look up at him. "That, like anything else done in that time, was not you and is not on your shoulders. Understand?"

A little rocked at the depth of emotion he was feeling and also that Dean was actually allowing the after sex time that he rarely did, Sam slowly nodded. "Yeah, I get it," he agreed, pressing a kiss against the hollow of Dean's neck. "Can we eat now?"

Dean's laugh was full and relaxed, his smile the one Sam wanted to see since it was his brother's open and full smile. "Shower first and then food," he returned the kiss before easing off the bed. "Go start it and I'll get your back."

Usually if they showered together it meant dinner would be delayed longer but Sam wasn't going to argue with Dean as he went to do just that since he suspected that his brother wanted privacy to do what he needed to do.

Waiting until Sam entered the bathroom to start the shower, Dean grabbed clean clothes for them both before his attention landed on the computer.

Noticing the Sam had left the file section open with the pointer hovering over the delete key, Dean pushed the rest of the memories of that weekend away. He'd meant what he said to Sam. That was over and he would not let it hurt his brother anymore which is why after he clicked delete on it he turned to another section on the laptop that Sam hadn't gotten around to finding yet.

He hadn't known for sure what pieces Robo-Sam had recorded except Dean had known that the soulless asshole took great pleasure in showing Dean that he had recorded the final day and night of every single time he'd forced an orgasm from Dean in whatever way was needed or would work.

That was hidden in another file that he pulled up now to stare at before clicking delete on it as well so Sam would never stumble across it to find out about the things done in the act of 'pleasuring' Dean which would more than likely traumatize the kid more than what he'd already seen done.

"You didn't win," he whispered to the file as it finished deleting and he powered down the laptop before stepping into the bathroom to step in behind Sam, fitting his chest to the broad back while sliding his hands down through the soap already on his brother's chest.

"Think that stuff would make a good breakfast?" he asked, hearing Sam's laugh and allowing his memory to be erased of that one time as he took the soap pressed into his hand and felt a stirring that promised that dinner was going to be seriously late.

**The End**

**A/NII: **_Thanks for reading. I think I have two more or so Wincest pieces and then it's back to writing the boys in the normal hurt/angsty/comfort kind of way for awhile._


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